As Shopped As It Gets Cracks the Case

Following the days of the U.S. Capitol being infiltrated by a banned of ginned-up miscreants, the individuals responsible for the violent disruption on the next bureaucratic benchmark toward the new Presidential appointment are, one by one, being collected by law enforcement. Surprisingly enough, the culprit carrying Nancy Pelosi’s lectern and bearing a spectacular set of pearly whites with an ear-to-ear grin had evaded the FBI, Secret Service, as well as all other cyber sleuths on the government’s payroll. Leave it to the brilliance of an MMA meme-maker to shed some light on the case, revealing the happy-go-lucky bandit to be none other than UFC fighter “Smile’n” Sam Alvey.”

After a careful examination of the photograph, As Shopped As It Gets identified the podium pilfering prizefighter. The humongous toothy smile on Alvey was like a fingerprint to anyone who has ever seen him compete inside the Octagon.

Once authorities received this information, they arrested Alvey in Florida. The most confusing part of the situation for the MMA Community to comprehend isn’t how such a cheery mixed martial artist could become such a reckless vandal; instead, they wonder if Alvey is in Florida because he’s training at American Top Team or Sanford MMA?

Excellent detective work As Shopped! 

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